Archive for December, 2022

Kidz

Wednesday, December 21st, 2022

Adults are buying toys for themselves, and it’s the biggest source of growth for the industry

Facebook shot me this article a few days ago and I’ve been thinking about it. “Kidult.”

When I crossed the threshold into glorious, glorious adulthood and shipped off to college, I was excited about my newfound independence and the ability to move past a lot of the trappings that I felt as a lowly high schooler. What this article refers to as a seemingly traditional view of adulthood—being “a very upstanding, serious member of society…intellectually, emotionally, in every other single way”—was very appealing to me. I wanted to go out and try new things and be taken seriously (not that I wasn’t taken seriously in many respects previously).

Now I go to college and there’s student organized group viewings of, like, Hocus Pocus. I have never seen Hocus Pocus and have no interest in doing so, and from what I’ve heard it’s not too great, so I’m not sure why it’s being brought up again besides nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake. And nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake is just not something I’ve ever reveled in. My parents just didn’t raise me on Disney films, and none of the TV shows I watched or toys I played with as a kid really stuck with me in a connected or personal manner. I’ve never even seen a Star Wars movie.

A wide scale shift towards multimedia franchises aimed at children is mentioned in that article, and it seems like getting ‘em while they’re young has worked in some respects. In fact, it is so entrenched in our society that the “Disney adult” is an easily recognizable archetype. We make fun of Disney adults and made fun of all that Ready Player One manchild crap a few years ago. But we also lap up whatever new wave of popular nostalgia comes our way. We look to the past for comfort, even though we would never be able to survive a day with only a flip phone or, alternatively, no phone at all. We are told that the past was great, back when we didn’t have brains developed enough to make informed decisions about what was shoved down our throats. So we use current day, dumbed down tech to recapture the times we thought were simple because we could barely think in the first place. I had a really happy childhood and learned later that my parents were dealing with the recession and (successfully) trying their hardest to keep the associated anxiety from rubbing off on me simultaneously. Ignorance is truly bliss.

Today, I go to the dollar store, where a good amount of the items are more than a dollar thanks to good ol’ inflation, and there’s licensed Barbie dolls alongside the wonky off-brand ones. Then I walk past the toy aisle when I’m running errands, and I see shiny new toy lines that emphasize copy-paste blind box “surprises” and literally theming characters after every color of the rainbow for collect-’em-all domination. I’m not quite sure if I understand it, but it’s strangely fascinating to see. It’s weird how seemingly disposable they seem, because they seem like they were produced solely to be bought and discarded. They seem algorithmically generated and kind of crappy. They still make the old ones, or at least updated versions of the old ones, most of the time. Time will tell if these new toys, tailor made for the current ADHD social media generation, have any staying power. Or maybe we’ll all just move onto another “next big thing” before we take the time to remember them.

Before my mom got married, she actually dyed her hair because she didn’t want her highlights to make every photo from her big day scream “early 2000s.” If I were to raise a kid in this day and age, I’d follow a similar philosophy: curiously observing and playing around with whatever trends life throws at us, but never forgetting the value of timelessness.

SNOWBALL

Monday, December 12th, 2022

I got to hit up the Kent State Ice Arena for the second time yesterday afternoon, my second bout with public skate. As I made my laps around the rink—with little to no assistance from the wall—the unruly kids seemed much less distracting, and the casually skilled demeanor of the cool old dude gliding across the ice seemed much less unobtainable. In fact, I finally started to feel cool on those skates. Being granted the ability to skate on ice that was of actual quality after a few more rounds downtown definitely helped.

What’s most awakening to me is that it totally cleared my mind. I was focused, and it wasn’t on something stupid and awful that I let my mind wander towards because I was bored. I fell four times, and one of those times was because I got too into the cheesy soundtrack (Baby Shark not included this time, thankfully enough) and lost balance while instinctively, as if infected by a virus of performative irony, started miming out the lyrics to “Timber” by our savior Mister Worldwide. Face down (point at the ground), booty up (point at the ceiling), that’s the way we like to what (cross arms and shrug), and then it truly was slicker than an oil spill. They cut off the song immediately after I fell, presumably because there were many children in the room. But I’m going to think it was my fault. It was strangely beautiful.

I came to the conclusion before the end of the hour and a half that I needed a pair of my own, because wearing a size three on one foot and a size four on the other because of your wide feet and stopping to dust off your blades every ten minutes because they don’t feel quite sharp enough is not ideal. (Honestly, one return to the downtown rink after my first arena gig made me highly identify with my professional-skater-for-ten-years friend’s choice of the word “butterknives.”) I am now a purist! For something other than music! (Well, not really.) But more importantly, I’ve found a way to actually, successfully stop letting my overactive switchboard brain get hung up on stupid crap: making a big circle.

Good thing there’s more to learn than just making a big circle.

Kent Skate (Yet)

Sunday, December 4th, 2022

As my last photos I posted indicated, I went ice skating for the first time on Friday. Ever since last year they’ve blocked off one of the streets by the campus’s barren, esplanaded edge and installed a rink for a few months in winter.

Friday was also the day the historic mill downtown caught fire. Before I went to the rink I was watching it being put out from a distance as blinking lights from the fire department’s vehicles punched holes in the black. Blocks away it was being pierced by cutesy Christmas lights they put around while I was home on break last weekend. They finally put the fire out yesterday afternoon. It made me angry at first. A seemingly eternal view, one that I had appreciated and even taken for granted, totally destroyed. I try to never take attending an institution with such a history attached to it for granted. I walk with the weight of a scholarship in memory of a man who worked his tail to preserve that history for future generations when he was alive; I can’t just take certain presences for granted, can I? But I still took that quaint Taco Tontos view for granted. Things are wack here.

Skating did help distract me, though. I had always wanted to try it out, and having roller skated on and off for a while, it was easy to pick up, as much as I clung to the wall. It felt satisfying and even empowering. I took a few knees and resigned with confidence (and one independent lap) to catch the last bus home. It just felt good, good to be out there doing something I had always wanted to, on a whim and without external limitation. Bruised knees are cool.

I skated for the second time tonight at the university arena, which has public skating sessions every so often. The lobby is excruciatingly wood panel, and it has the faint smell of popcorn from the snack bar. There is a party room where a bunch of little girls were having a party. Out on the rink I kept running into (not literally) a really adorable little girl with bangs, black leggings, and a slightly-too-big Nirvana shirt. I should’ve turned her on to the Melvins, but I had skating to do. Other than the small children (of which there were many), there were all kinds of people there, including funhaving college couples, cocky college boys, and a few seasoned vets who seemed to effortlessly glide across the floor. I kept looking at one guy, an older guy who looked kind of like David Crosby but not absurd in the facial hair department, who just casually sailed along with his hands in his pockets. He just seemed so cool.

I was not cool on the ice, or at least I didn’t feel cool, because my continued reliance on the wall got me trapped in a lot of traffic jams behind tiny children who didn’t really know how to skate, and I kept falling on my ass. My roller skating career ended when I was standing completely still in the middle of the street hockey court in a hometown-local park, lost my balance for a split second, fell on my ass, and sprained my wrist catching my fall. Obviously, I was overjoyed to keep falling on my ass. GREAT JOB.

I can tell I’m doing well just going out there at all, even if my confidence tonight lasted in spurts. It was just a different experience. It was admittedly a little hard to focus, especially when “You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful” segued into “Baby Shark” near the end of the hour and a half when the sound system had tired of Christmas music. (The downtown rink did supply “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime” at the same exact time as actual rain, but at least it stayed on theme.) I’m not sure if I made any progress tonight, really. But I don’t want to abandon it out of lack of immediate proficiency. Because when I do get into the zone, the things that weigh heavy are trivial, and I feel like I can do anything.

I think I can get the hang of it.